The Sweet That's Bitter

Photo: A path on the campus of Colgate University in our hometown is called Willow Walk and in season, it is festooned with lights. With the early-morning fog at the distant end, the walk is predictable, straight and narrow - not at all like our lives, which can be unexpected, curved and ever-expanding.

Our existence is a tale of two cities - a juxtaposition, a dichotomy. How can a bitter that's sweet also be a sweet that's bitter? 

The very notion of the holidays can be painfully difficult while it is sweetly joyous. A couple weeks ago, a young woman I know delivered dozens of pointsettias to the elders at my work. She confessed that she welcomed the opportunity to see smiles and gratitude from those who received them because it gave her a brief respite from the difficulties she had recently experienced. With both her parents gone, it was just her and her brother, but he'd taken his own life not long ago. As a military veteran with tours in Afghanistan, he'd suffered terribly with PTSD and he could think of only one way to make the horrors end. She struggled with this during the festive season that surrounded her. Yet, the tears that welled her eyes as she shared this were born of finding light through that darkness. She did not - could not - dwell in that space alone.

Many find the winter in the Northeast untenable. Yes, we have snow and icy days and wind chills and numerous layers of clothing, but we also have the stillness of a new snowfall, the comfort of a roaring fire (or any reasonable facsimile), and the coziness that a pot of soup brings. None of these contentments would be possible without first experiencing their polar opposites. 

Yet, how do we find that light when there seems to be only darkness? One way is to look at the path ahead from the other direction. What if we were not going into the unknown of the fog but emerging from it? What if the way to overcome the impossible was to embrace it? For my young friend, the flip came from doing for others and that act alone was enough to crack the despair and let the bright in. 

May you and yours have all you need in this new year, and enough to share with those who don't. May you taste only sweet and only a balancing hint of the bitter. And if there is more bitter than you can bear, may those who surround you help you find a way to move toward the sweet.